你，我，她

Am I thinking too much? Really?  You are telling me all this because you think that I didn't try hard?

所以是替我想或替她想呢？是我知道我不比她好。不比她可愛或厲害。可是我已經盡力了。

對每一件所做的事都已經盡力了。對你，對她，對家人，對工作，對功課 都已經盡力了。

I tried and tried. Taking all the initiative, doing more than I should. But the result wasn't pretty. I am still told that I've not done enough, still blame for being me and most importantly being taken for granted. 好累！好想休息！好想逃走；逃走到一個沒有人認識我的地方。

Fooled once again

~Being Dumb

~Being Stupid

~Being Naive

~Being Fooled

~Being Used

~Being Betrayed

~Being Lied to 

~Being Blinded

~Being Hypnotist

What more can i say? 

Yes I am that dumb girl to believe that it is going to be true. 

yes i am that stupid girl who believe everything will work out for me.

yes i am that naive girl who believe that he is truthful to me. 

yes i am that girl who is fooled once again. 

 

我會怕

不知怎麼了總會感到害怕！不管做甚麼都一樣！

我知道我怕輸給人家。但是我的成績應該也不錯吧？只是輸他們。 我知道我不可以那麼的好勝。但沒辦法。我就是這樣！

i know i shouldn't felt this way but i can't help it! really can't help it :'(

劉瑞茹加油好嗎？你一定行！現在他們可能贏你，但一切不會維持那麼久！你行的！加油！

Forever hectic

SUPER DUPER HECTIC LIFEEEE!!!!!! It has been three weeks since i last sleep soundly like a baby. :( thats bad.... I did not have my beauty sleeppp!!! oh noooo~~ i am surrounded with tons and tons of homework, exams, quizes, and speech. what am i supposed to do?? HELPPP!!! well recently, things are not going that well for me. there are both bad and good news.. lets start with the bad one. hehe

Firstly, our dearest friend Caroline went back for good! FOR GOOD! I am not that close to her but i still feel sad. the times that we spent together. she is one easy going person who is hurt easily but refuses to admit. Even though i knew her for only 1 year, that 1 year makes us like a family. The times where she teaches me accounting :( that brings back memories. the time where we drank boba together. the happy times is now left with memories.. :( u will be missed Carol! Hoping to see you again!!!!



Good news is that i bought a longchamp bag. hehehe:p cos a lot but its worth it because i work hard for that :p hehhehehhe...


got to go folkss.. homework waiting quiz waiting and last but not least speech -_- dammit! HAHAHA

BA-TO-THE-COTTTTTTTT~

Hmm.. i don't get if you have lost all respect towards me because, u are worst than i do. I don't listen to one side of the story and judge. I tell everyone is partly my fault. i took all the blame. but what about ur friend? 

i threw myself to him? yes i did? certainly? you are just assuming. its up to you to be sensitive with me. because i know i do nothing wrong. the respect i showed you lessen ever since that day. i don't mine you judging me because i know i am at fault. at least i don't hurt your friend like he does to me. keeping me hanging? seriously? guys are just being guys. 

You

you left me abruptly, never know what i've ben through.
you assume everything, without knowing what's wrong.
you being selfish, not knowing how i want it to be.
you look at one side of something, without knowing the truth.
your love for me may be strong, but the words said were too harsh.
you may be jealous, but you did never know how to deal with it.
you are far away from me, but you expect so much from me.
you are always miss by me, but you make me afraid of you.
you constantly appears in my dream, but i am not able to show or tell you.
i am not perfect. i am a bitch. i make mistake. i club. i have attitude problem. i am close to guys. i a, best friend with a male. i changed. i am not as innocent as i use to be. and i seriously hate all this. but it has been done. i just hope you can accept me. how i wish i can go back to how i use to be. to that innocent girl knowing nothing but enjoy life. i hated to be like that but you make me feel more miserable of myself. i know i ignored you a lot but u are not that for me and asked me why with patience. i hate myself for changing but i can't changed back to the person i used to be. its just isn't right i know but this is how it is. i hate myself for being a perfectionist and not reaching my goal. i hate myself for knowing some of my friends here that make me who i am today. i hate that things can't be undone. i wanted to enjoy my life an accept but all this came to me. how can i not think.

Oh nooo~

Hahaha.. its been super long since i update my blogggg. hahahha.. for the past few months, life has not been good. so much happened, i do not know what i can and should do..

i am stuck in the middle. life is really complicatingg.. can i have a simple life?? i do not mean to rant i do not mean anything but seriously with all this drama, i doubt i can take itt.. :(