笨蛋

Its been long since i last update my blog! well, have been busy but sooo much things happened! so much so that it made me not able to breathe. Good and bad things come at the same time. this make me speechless and unsure.. juts hope to go home and hope everything is going to be fine...


i find myself being a stubborn person because i didn't learn my lesson. no matter how much i know it would hurt me i still give chances and making history repeat itself. dumb eh? this is jane. :( its just so hard. so hard to say no. so hard to forget. so hard to let go. :(

found out that its just a dream and that i am being make used. maybe just for pleasure eh? ha!


its time to protect myself and not hurting myself like that :( ..

刘瑞茹永远都学不乖。永远都学不会！难道你真的要他这样糟蹋你吗？不管他怎样对你，你一定会心软。为什么呢？ 天啊！！！

傻瓜！

I don't know how many times this should happens before I learn my lesson! I don't know.. really. I am a fool.  A fool that knows it is wrong to to do it but still does it! A fool who is fooled by the appearance of everything. A fool that believes what that person says. A fool that will never be smart and will never learn! :(


Lost motivation in everything again. I am pissed i am irritated with myself, disappointed in myself! i can't seem to do anything right..... :(

Its me

People do judge me. I know. I mean everyone does isn't? You go to mall and saw this weird person walk past you and you will start talking about it if you are with your friends. If you are not with your friends, you will still think about it. Everyone judge and also no one is perfect. Different people have different personalities. people know this but why people still judge.. weird eh? i am one of them though i admit.. i talk about others so i am prepared for others to talk about me. However, one thing is that i would forgive and forget. i won't make fun of them in public. i know its fun to make annoy and irritate people but sometimes when you are in a bad mood, nothing seems fun -__-

my friends keeping talking about things that had happened in spring, aren't you guys tired about it? seriously.. i am tired about it already, its not that i can't take joke but you guys are being over.. too much! yes i know of all people, i am the who can be bullied easily. but i have feelings too. u guys don't know me don't judge me!

Because of you

You are the one causing me to have sleepless night. You are the one causing me to be so tired, making me not in the mood to do anything.. do you know that? i guess not..

In an instance, everything change. You treated me differently, tell them the wrong thing, make them judge me in the wrong way.. damn itt! its been almost a week since we talked and see each other. what is it going to be? maybe its time to let go of something and someone whom u cared alot. or maybe i should give up and end the suffering that i am going through. seriously. i do cherish this relationship but problems keep coming up and we can't seem to find an agreeing term :(. he has his own thinking and perception and same goes to me. we are too different. different in a way that drift us a part. He don't see it but i do. I do not wnat history to repeat itself. i  don't want whatever happened in spring happened again in fall. please, i am afraid. afraid of what the future, afraid of you, afraid of being hurt again.

you asked why would i be hurt.. is that something you need to ask? sighh.. how i wish i do not need to think about this problems which make me can't sleep and eat well.. dammnnn it! sighhh


我不想長大。不想面對一些讓人心痛的事。不想讓人對我有不好的看法。不想離家太遠。不想每天自己在房間裡只是對著電腦和四面牆。。。

Crying is part of me

Had an argument again. i cried so badly cos of him again :( it has been 3 days since i cried for him. please i hope eveyrthing will be fine tomorrow.. i don't want anymore argument. i am both mentally and physically tired....someone save me :(

Unexpected things happen...

yesterday was a happy day but before the happy part, we argued :( i cried badly.. my plans of studying was cancelled cos i cried too badly that i could not study :(.. Merline watch me cry tho. hahah:p 

anyway, lets forget about the crying part.. hahahha:p 

Me and the indos went out todayy!! first to shop and then eat too celebrate my very belated birthday :D. i seriously had fun yesterddayy :D 

First, me wendra, febri, kevin itine stephanie and akira went to eat dimsumm.. yummmmmyyy :D hehe.. then we went to victoria garden to shop.. i spent on quite a few stuff.. oopss..mom and dad is going to kill me if they know. huahahahah:p coach bag and bangle, aldo shoe and ring, urban outfitters scarf and sweater, cotton on jacket.. hehe.. seriously when i am stress or upset, i will shop till i drop.. shop till my wallet is left with a big hole.. huahahahha:p well now i feel the pinch though.. hahah.. 

After shopping for few hours, its time to eat.. which means the celebration of my birthday :D teeheee.. 

I treated them to Banana bay. There are 13 of us, Itine, Febri, Ivy, Ata, Stephanie, Felicia, me, Chis, Wen wen, Bobby, Kevin, Michael, and Akira. And again, they prank on me -__- (as always) hahaha:p 

Banana Bay is a thai resto, normally at night, there would be a singer to entertain the customers, today, Chris and Kevin told the waitress about my birthday and so after the meal, the singer came to me with a ice cream and candle on it. oh my that is the most awkward moment where i am the attention of  the whole resto.. But i had fun though.. haha. i have a group of lovely friends :D seriously i love them.. can't do without them but as always, friends do have conflicts. hehe..

after this we took tons of picturee!! hahaha.. then we went to another place to eat shave ice cream.. damnn.. imagine its so cold and we were eating ice -__-. hahhahaha:p but we had fun taking pics and talking.. its been long since we had this gathering.. hohohoh.. thanks friends:D 

                                            

               

                                                          Ice Cream from Banana Bay 

                                             
                                             This is what i mean.that awkward momenttt..

I love my babes and friends :D 

Relieveddd!

Oh myyy!! I have been trying to complete my English essay for like the past few days, and it is finally donnee!! yay!  i mean with the points and arguments but not the Introduction and Conclusion. heheheh:p It is still better than nothing though. Its not easy to complete  that essay.. I am proud of myself  (oops:p).

Today, Atha, Ivy, and me woke up at around 5 plus and went to school for the teacher to comment on our essay :D the professor says mine was good! hahaha.. *happyy happyy* (btw, my professor os HHOOOTT! hahahah:p) when i heard the professor says mine was good, i felt a sudden of relieved (pheww) cos, this shows that my hard work pays offff.. wooohooooo!!

i seriously gave to stop now. i have class to go.. teehee~ :D